


no good at being on my own

by whensheflies



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Actor Harry, Canon Compliant, Dunkirk filming, Gen, M/M, That's it, how are we tagging Dunkirk, light angst with a touch of fluff, mostly harry is just emo without his louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 04:23:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6889834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whensheflies/pseuds/whensheflies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's first day on the set of Dunkirk is not at all what he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	no good at being on my own

The trailer door closes behind him and for the first time in over twelve hours, it’s quiet. Enveloping as it is, the silence does nothing to quell the jumbled storm of thoughts in his head. He slumps into his hair and makeup chair, leans over to remove his boots, his fingers tangling in the laces. His brow furrows as he tugs them loose and toes them off. The sound of the heavy boots hitting the floor is loud in the silence, almost jarring. He rubs his socked feet together, wincing a bit at their tenderness. The boots were a bit small, pinching at his toes throughout the day. He knows he should say something to costuming, but it’s his first day on set and he doesn’t want to make a fuss.

He leans back in the chair and out of habit, reaches up to run his hand through his hair. He stops short as he catches his reflection in the mirror before him, fingers ghosting through empty air where hair used to be. He rubs the side of his head with a finger, the texture of it foreign to him. 

Not a curl in sight and Harry Styles barely recognizes his own face.

He inhales deeply, holding it in while he stares ahead. Exhales. It doesn’t help. His chest still feels tight and his eyes burn. He reaches for his phone where he left it on the counter this morning and scrolls through various texts of encouragement from his friends and family. There had been a lot of down time, a lot of waiting around and running lines. He wasn’t allowed to keep his phone on him and today alone made him realize how dependent on it he had become. Yes, the lads were kind enough and the crew were all friendly. Of course, it was all fresh and new and exciting. But at the same time, it was hard and Harry had never more felt like a fish out of water. 

He tapped open his conversation with Louis and read the messages there. **_Break a leg today, H!_** Followed by several thumbs up emojis. **_Call me when you can. x._**

Harry’s heart constricts at the messages, turning the feeling over in his head before hitting the call button and putting the phone to his ear. Homesickness. Homesickness for a person. Not just any person. His person. Tears well in Harry’s eyes when he hears the voice on the other end of the line.

“Hi Harry. How did it go? I want to hear all about it.” His voice is cheerful and he sounds so close, pressed against Harry’s ear. It only makes the distance worse.

Harry lets out a little choked sob. “Louis,” his voice cracks on the single word. He rubs angrily at his eyes with his free hand, ashamed that he’s crying to his boyfriend, alone in his trailer on his first day of work. 

“H, are you crying? Are you alright? What’s happened?” Louis asks in rapid fire succession. 

Harry’s too much of a mess to answer, he only listens to Louis pause and then his voice goes soft, like it always does when it’s just the two of them.

“Did they sack you?” 

Harry hiccups a laugh, a smile breaking through the cascade of emotion. “No, no, I didn’t get sacked.” 

“Well, that’s a relief!”

“Don’t sound so surprised, Lou.” Harry says fussily.

“I’m only teasing, love. You know that. You’re brilliant at everything you do, acting included.” Louis says. “Now, do you want to talk about it?”

Harry exhales. “It’s just… not what I expected? Not that I thought it would be easy. It’s still performing and I do love it so far. It’s just...different...without you next to me. Without the boys.”

“Of course it’s different, love, but I promise you it’ll get better every day. It’s a challenge right now, but I know you. You’re going to meet that challenge with your head held high and you’re going to smash it. Because you’re amazing. Believe me, I wish I was there to help get you out of your head. I know how you get som--” Louis’ voice is cut off by soft cries.

Harry’s eyes widen, heart in his throat. “Is that Freddie? Oh Lou, please put him on the phone.” he begs.

He hears Louis laugh, can envision him cradling the crying baby while trying to keep his phone between his ear and shoulder. “He’s a baby, H. He’s not going to do anything but scream in your ear.”

“But I miss him. Miss everything about him, including his screams.” Harry says.

“Tell me that again when we’re fast asleep. Or mid-blowjob.” Louis jokes.

Harry smiles. “Give him a kiss for me, yeah?”

“Right, right.” Louis says. Harry can tell he’s quickly losing Louis’ attention. Easily done, he thinks, when there’s someone as cute as Freddie there right in front of him when he’s a half a world away. He can still hear Freddie crying and Louis’ soft coos of comfort. Harry would be a liar if he said the sounds didn’t comfort him a bit as well.

“I should probably let you go. Freddie needs his bottle.” Louis says.

“I miss you so much.” Harry lets out in a rush at the same time.

“It’s mutual, you know?” Louis says, “Just because you’re the one off having grand adventures doesn’t mean you’re the one that gets to do all the missing. Save some for me.”

“Can we skype soon? I might have a free morning in a few days. It’ll be evening time for you, so Freddie will be knackered hopefully.” Harry asks.

“Wear your costume and you’ve got yourself a deal.” Louis says.

“Deal.” Harry says around a toothy smile. “Love you, Lou.”

“I love you, Harry. Don’t let it get you down, yeah?”

Harry wants to keep him on the phone longer, but even as short as their conversation had been he feels so much better. Just hearing Louis’ voice had removed the burden of worry and self doubt. He didn’t know what he did to get so lucky to have someone as supportive and wonderful as Louis, but he knew he wasn’t going to let that slip through his fingers.

“Yeah. Okay. Talk to you soon.”

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short ficlet that wouldn't leave me alone while I've been drooling over Harry's new hair. If you enjoyed, please feel free to comment. Or come say hi on [tumblr](http://choface.tumblr.com/). I'm a like a fairy and thrive on applause. ;-p All the love. 
> 
> title is lyrics from Tyler Hilton's "Can't Stop Now"


End file.
